Due Date

Due dates are stupid... mine was 9.11.11, but they are almost never correct.  Almost every time I would tell someone when I was due, they would say something inconsiderate/rude/negative about the connotation of the date.  It's just a date, people.  Yes, something horrible happened on this date 10 years ago, but that doesn't really mean that every person born on that date is cursed, nor does it mean that GOOD things can't be associated with this date in the future.  So, 9.11.11 came and went and was rather uneventful.  I had an OB appointment on the 12th, and at that point my doctor told me that she wanted to intervene by the 15th or 16th if I didn't go into labor before that.  I REALLY didn't want to be induced, so I was praying hard.  I was "progressing" by the 12th, but it was just happening slowly.  I was in "early labor" at home for a good while, but it was so slow, nothing happened by the 15th when my doctor wanted to admit me to the hospital for pre-induction.

Ross and I went to this hospital that Thursday night having no idea what was in store for us.  It was pretty harsh from the beginning, and after being there for less than 5 minutes I was in tears and did NOT want to be there anymore.  Since I was being induced, I pretty much had no say over what they were doing to me.  If you are induced, it's not typically an option to be free of tubes and monitors, as since they are inducing you with drugs, an emergency could happen at any moment.  I fought them on everything and lost horribly.  They made me get and IV upon admission and they made me be on monitors (BP for me, contractions, and heart rate of baby) 24/7.  UGH.  The pre-induction did nothing besides not allow me to sleep at all in the dumb hospital.  Very early the next morning, my doctor had ordered that they start me on Pitocin, the drug created by Satan to torture people in hell (per my sister, who is absolutely right!).  It was AWFUL right away.  It made my contractions MUCH MUCH stronger and closer together immediately.  They weren't "natural" contractions that eased in and out, they were crazy strong from beginning to end.  They were immediately happening every 2.5 minutes, then every 2 minutes, then every 1.5 minutes, and they lasted for 45 seconds each... for about EIGHTEEN HOURS STRAIGHT.

In the mid/late afternoon, my OB came to this hospital and checked me.  I was certain that I had really progressed based on the intensity and duration of the contractions.  NOPE.  I hadn't dilated at all.  I was again in tears... so frustrated, mad, and scared.  She came back in a few hours and broke my water, which intensified the contractions even more.  She came back shortly after that, and broke my water again (apparently there were 2 bags), and said I had finally dilated 1 more cm (3cm total).  This was around 7 or 8pm and she told me that I could get the epidural finally.  PRAISE JESUS.  I got it ASAP from the anesthesiologist that everyone said was "the best on staff".  It was true, he was AMAZING.  I mean, it was heavenly and almost immediately provided relief.  He knows what he's doing, and he gets paid the big bucks for a reason.  ;)  He was also super friendly and sarcastic, so that was helpful.  Immediately after he was done with the epidural, my BP bottomed out and the baby's heart rate crashed.  I didn't know what was happening at the time, but I knew it was serious because they didn't say a word, but immediately laid my bed flat, shot some drug into my IV, and I was all of a sudden surrounded by nurses.  I could tell from the monitors that the baby's heart rate crashed and that my BP was bottomed out, but I didn't realize that they were about to prepare me for emergency delivery if they couldn't get them back up.  The drug they pumped into me brought everything back up, so we were good for a while.  This happened again after a while, I think probably because the baby just couldn't handle the maximum dose of Pitocin we were getting for much longer.  Poor little thing.

My doctor came back in and checked me again, saying that I still hadn't progressed any further.  I was STILL at 3cm, after 18 hours of Pitocin and after her breaking my water.  She told me that I wasn't progressing further and the baby wasn't dropping past my pelvis for a reason, like, he couldn't probably get down any further due to his size.  Since he couldn't drop all of the way, I couldn't dilate all of the way in order to deliver him.  My OB told me previously that she wouldn't let me be on Pitocin for more than 24 hours.  She then said, "you know what I'm about to say, don't you."  I said, "yes.  C-section."  She said that she thought it was really the best/safest thing at this point... she said that she wanted to get my baby out safely, saying that after a certain point, it becomes dangerous for him to be in there much longer (after being on Pitocin for a day straight and after having my water broken).  I agreed with her.  This was at 11pm and she said, "so, should we try for a 9/16 birthday?!"  She then said, "This better be a big baby, I'm going to look really bad if he's only 6lb!"  He definitely WASN'T!  She had been telling me for weeks that he was going to be big and could possibly have difficulty passing through my pelvis for delivery.  I knew she couldn't know this for sure, but being the one to carry this baby, I was pretty positive that she was right.  Minutes later I was being prepped for surgery and wheeled to the operating room.

By the time I got in there and they were ready to actually take him out, he was out within minutes.  What took the longest was closing me up!  It was the strangest sensation I've ever experienced.  The "epidural man" was in there by my side monitoring my medication.  He's a genius  :)  I could feel pressure and temperature, but no pain at all.  I felt them cutting and tugging and pulling him out, but NO pain whatsoever.  Ross was by my head behind the curtain, but he was allowed to stand and watch my OB deliver Asher!  He said he wasn't grossed out at all  ;)  He didn't pass out, and was able to accompany Asher to "recovery" were I joined them a while later.  From the moment Asher was out, he was SCREAMING, not just crying.  It went for 2 solid hours!  I think part of that was from the stress of him being on Pitocin with me for SO long and for enduring so many hard contractions in there for so long... I can't imagine that was too fun for him.  Little did we know that the 2 hours of hard screaming was a prelude of what was to come.  :(

 

Due to having a c-section, they made me stay 3 nights (we had already been there 1), so we went in Thursday and didn't get to come home until Monday.  I'll say, I really really dislike hospitals after this experience.  Half of my nurses were fantastic, and the other half were pretty awful.  The nurse I had with me during the end of labor, delivery, and my immediate recovery was absolutely spectacular.  I will always remember her.  She was kind, funny, sensitive, sarcastic, attentive, and she genuinely cared about me and what I wanted.  She didn't leave my side for hours and calmly explained ANYTHING I had a question/concern about.  I don't know what I would have done without her.  She was with me until she wheeled me to the mother/baby unit after Asher's birth.  At one point I was on/attached to 6 things (various monitors, BP cuff, IV, catheter, etc.).  That was not fun, and the recovery from a c-section was/is no picnic.  Due to having surgery, I had nurses in my room every 30-60 minutes around the clock the entire time we were in the hospital.  We were SO ready to come home!  I couldn't wait to be unhooked from everything and kept pestering the nurses until they took me off of everything and finally let me get out of bed and stumble to the bathroom.  It was an experience I will never forget, and of course, it happened NOTHING like I expected or wanted it to.  All of the pain, stress, and worry was worth it though, because it gave us our precious Asher!

Back to the Start

So, I figure that we need to go back to the beginning if we are going to tell Asher's story properly... On New Year's Eve 2010, very early in the morning, our lives changed forever.  I had a feeling the day or two before that there was a very slight possibility that I might be pregnant, and since we had some leftover tests from the last time I thought I might be, I decided I would take one.  I woke up up before 6am that morning and couldn't sleep because I couldn't stop thinking about it, so I decided just to go and take the test.  Now, I was honestly expecting it to be negative, so I thought there was no reason to wake Ross.  A few minutes later, I frantically shook Ross and told him, "I need you to come here and look at something for me."  Of course he was confused and half-asleep.  He came into the bathroom and I said, "tell me what this says", pushing the pregnancy test in his face.  He sluggishly looked at it and said, "it's pink, there's a pink line."  I asked him to look again, I said, "you see TWO pink lines, RIGHT?!?!?"  He confirmed that there were two.  I then asked him if he knew what that meant.  He looked at me, paused, and said, "No way, are you serious?!  You're pregnant!"  We both stood there in utter disbelief.  We continued to be in extreme shock, and decided to go out for breakfast to discuss what this really meant.  We were so freaked out!  We were excited, worried, shocked, and scared to death all at the same time.  We canceled our evening plans with very good friends, as we were supposed to get really dressed up and go to the city for a fancy meal... we knew that if I didn't have a glass of wine at dinner and champagne with them at midnight (at the party we were supposed to attend together), they would know something was up, and obviously we weren't ready to let the cat out of the bag just yet.  I took another pregnancy test on this day, and then a third test the following day, obviously ALL were very "pink."  We knew this was huge and that it was going to change our lives forever, but we had no real concept of what that would look like at the time   :) 

Here are some pics of my pregnancy from when I started to "show" around 20 weeks through past week 40, just days before I had Asher.  Most of you know that I didn't love being pregnant.  Some of the time it was just fine, and there was a small window when it was kind of enjoyable (somewhere in the 2nd trimester).  In the beginning, I had crazy "morning sickness" that lasted ALLLLLLL day and night.  UGH.  That finally passed, and then things were OK for a while.  It was very cool feeling the baby move for the first time, feeling him have the hiccups, and seeing him grow... I finally "felt" pregnant then.  Then, around the end of the 2nd trimester, I started to have terrible "round ligament pain" that progressively got worse and worse and worse.  My OB said that it was common and nothing to be worried about, and she also said aside from taking it slowing when switching positions and doing some stretches, there was nothing I could do to ease the pain.  :( She was right.  It went from being a dull ache to stabbing/shooting pain, and it was pretty constant from that point until I delivered.  awesome.  Then, since I was very pregnant during the very hottest time of the year, I got to endure crazy swelling and 100 degree temperatures when I already felt at least 10 degrees hotter than everyone else.  I was ready to be done by about week 34 ;)

Preface

To begin, this a blog co-written by someone who generally HATES blogs (Dani).  Some blogs are extremely helpful, interesting, and inspiring, but most of them seem to be pretty self-absorbed, thus the reason I'm not a fan of most.  Hopefully this is not one of the latter...  I NEVER thought I would be one to blog, but it seems like the most efficient way to express ourselves and to share information regarding our son that is inquired about from various sources.  Since almost all of our family resides out-of-state, they do not have the opportunity to visit Asher often at all... Many of them still wish to know how he is doing, and since we have so many family members and friends all over the country, it seems best to log everything in one place as opposed to sending out endless emails, text messages, and facebook posts all saying the same thing.  This way, if you are interested, you can come here as often (or as infrequently) as you like... and you won't be bothered with mass emails from us that you might not care about.  We also don't really want to post all of our business (or all of our photos) on facebook, so this is a good alternative to share more intimate information with people who truly care about how Asher is doing.  Please don't feel pressure to "follow" this blog, but if you choose to, it's a very easy way for us to get information out to all of you, if that's what you desire. 

Our little pumpkin will be a month old tomorrow, and it seems like we've already been through SO MUCH with him, it's hard to know where to begin when sharing it all.  With the recent findings about Asher's health, it's just not practical or realistic that we could reply to all of your emails, phone calls, text messages, and facebook messages in a timely manner, so this is another reason why this seems like a good option for us.  We aren't promising that we will post daily, weekly, or even often, but we will as often as we think to do so, so we can share the happenings of Asher's little life with those who are curious.  If you aren't curious, and don't really care to know a million details about him and our life with him, that's OK too, we totally understand  ;)  We just want to chronicle the information in one condensed spot for those of you who care to know the details, as it's a MUCH better option for us than reiterating the same info over and over and over to friends and family.  We plan to share updates about him and just log a small piece of his story for those who are interested.  Hopefully it's informative and enjoyable!  :)  Happy reading!