Our Little Owlet: May 2013

It's hard to know where to start with this. First, about Ross and myself. On Saturday, we went on our second date since Asher has been born. Seriously. Don't judge me (us). You have NO idea what it was like to have a little guy with severe reflux and what was even more complicated, a wicked eating aversion that also affected sleep (meaning literally nobody but us, and mainly just me because even Ross really struggled with it, could feed him or put him to sleep). It took us SOOO long and so much work to get through these things. I can't articulate how insanely difficult it was, so even when people offered to help, it was a joke to us because they literally couldn't. On top of that, we were going through some challenging things in our marriage, in addition to recently transplanting ourselves into a foreign place where we knew only one family. Life has been HARD for the last two years, and if you know anything about my past, you know that for me to qualify this as "hard", it must really be impossibly challenging at times. A sweet girl that I mentored through the high school youth group was married last summer and my mom watched Asher so we could attend. That was the first time that we both left Asher at the same time. Again, please don't judge, you seriously have NO IDEA what that first year was like for us... even if I've explained it in detail to you before, there's no possible way you could fully comprehend it. When we did our house closing, my sister and brother-in-law watched Asher, but I wouldn't classify that as a date! We had planned to have my mom watch Asher in the Fall so we could go out for our anniversary. Since he still had a nighttime bottle then (and still struggling with an eating aversion), our plan was to put him to bed and go out for a late dinner. Well, we moved in November, and then were crazy busy with the new house and we were also chronically sick through most of the winter... so we FINALLY went out for our anniversary (Oct 28th) this past Saturday ;) We spent far too much on a fancy seafood meal complete with lobster bisque for appetizer (shout out to the Thorwalls!) and key lime pie for dessert, and it was AMAZING. We hope to do this more frequently in the future! Asher has been off the bottle for months and is a fabulous sleeper at night (unless he's sick or hurting from teething), so we are hoping this won't be so difficult now. The tricky part is that we still don't know anyone here besides my sister who is busy with her own three kids and her husband is a firefighter so his schedule is insane! Starting over is SO. FREAKING. HARD. Particularly with a little one, and especially when I'm not working outside of the home now, so I have no real way to meet decent people (Ross is lacking in this area and will openly confess that he relies on me to make social connections for our family). We've met our immediate neighbors and most are very nice (most), but nobody yet that we can see ourselves hanging out with. We'll see!

Now, little Asher. We've discovered a LOT recently in terms of cracking the code with his food intolerance issues. It seems as though we jumped the gun before in terms of ruling problem foods out. It's very evident that he can't tolerate dairy/casein in ANY form. Maybe he will be able to in the future, but he definitely can't now. I have come to realize that gluten seems to be OK for him (praise Jesus!). I gave him whole kernel corn for the first time recently (I hadn't previously for fear of allergy, based on some reactions he had to corn products). He LOVED it... and he had a rash and hives on his face within hours. UGH. It was clearly obvious that the corn was a problem for him, and a physical reaction of hives on his face is more proof than any stupid test could ever be. My heart sunk mostly because I knew this meant that it would be next to impossible to eliminate all things corn related. Sure, we can cut out corn (he had never had it, but we did often). Sure, we can cut out corn products (corn tortilla chips, nuggets with corn flour, cornbread/ corn meal, corn starch, etc). That's doable... the problem lies in the corn derived substances that are in literally EVERYTHING that is not a whole/raw food. Asher doesn't have anything with corn syrup and never has so that's not the issue (although corn syrup is in SOOOO many foods). A corn intolerance is insanely overwhelming, and I've cried about it on more than one occasion. Partly due to the stress I was feeling about making it work and keeping him safe, but also because I knew this would make him "that kid" who can't eat ANYTHING that his mama doesn't prepare. I'm confident that 99% of you have NO idea how much corn you are ingesting, specifically regarding corn bi-products and derivatives.

If you want a taste of the horror I was feeling, check this out:

http://www.cornallergens.com/list/corn-allergen-list.php

We also discovered that Asher cannot tolerate cooked eggs (scrambled/fried). I know, you're thinking "you just said recently that he's fine with eggs and corn!" I know... I did, but that's because the trials that we did were short and each time he ingested only tiny bits. Also, we never gave him whole corn before, only corn products. With the eggs, he never would eat more than a tiny bit because the scrambled texture made him gag. I made myself eggs recently and he begged for some, so I shared. He ate a TON and loved it, eating at least half of my plate. Again, he LOVED THEM. Hours later, bright red big hives on his face. AHHHHH! Finally, we discovered that he also can't have strawberries. I gave him pure strawberry preserves on a sandwich and again, he devoured it. LOVED IT. He got hives from the strawberry by the time he woke from his nap after lunch. I've read on more than one occasion that if both parents have allergies, the child has at least a 75% chance of developing allergies as well. Not necessarily the same ones, but in Asher's case, it seems he is inheriting everything from both sides ;( I tested positive for a corn and strawberry allergy as a kid. I also have terrible outdoor allergies and am literally allergic to just about everything that's a plant/pollen/grass/weed, etc. My outdoor allergy list was 5 full pages long last time I was tested. Ross and his sister both had pretty severe dairy allergies/intolerances as kids. Ross' sister also had a corn allergy/intolerance as a child. It's completely overwhelming and if you don't have to deal with it personally, you can't possibly understand. My sister and her kids have nut allergies (fairly severe), so Asher is prone to that as well, which is why we haven't and won't introduce any nuts for a long time. With a nut allergy though, it's easier to steer clear of it. Sure, it can be deadly for some (so can corn/eggs/dairy)... but nut allergies are widely recognized and also very well labeled these days. Dairy is starting to become more widely recognized as an allergen, along with gluten, but corn is still under the radar. I'm certain that's in part due to the fact that without corn, the American diet and American way of food production/consumption would come to a screeching halt. If they labeled every food with a corn bi-product or corn derivative it would be catastrophic for the food industry. It's hidden in EVERYTHING these days. Take citric acid for example. You'd think it's derived from fruit, yes? Well, it might be, but it's probably NOT, because that's far more expensive than getting it through corn, and they don't have to tell you how it's derived so it's just a big mystery. Take a look at everything you eat in a week... even just in a day. Look at the labels and look for dairy or corn derivatives or egg products. It's overwhelming. I think Asher can handle eggs baked into something (muffins), due to the fact that it's baked for a long time at a high temperature and it breaks down the protein enough not to bother him (as opposed to scrambled eggs). This has been a HARD journey, but I feel like we finally have some footing and finally getting somewhere.

His digestive issues have completely disappeared without orange veggies and corn products! Better yet, the dark circles under his eyes have lessened, and his horrible and disturbingly distended stomach is almost entirely gone!!!!! It's astonishing, really. The overwhelming bloat was definitely caused from corn products, as it's GONE now. Thank you, Jesus! He still looks bloated after meals, but this kid eats like a horse, so the bloat is likely just from a really full tummy! The journey is far from over, and I'm even more cautious now with new foods (no matter what they are) because who knows what else this kid is allergic to?! I plan to ask for an epipen prescription at Asher's 24month well-check. I'd like to have one on hand, just in case. Please, if you are ever around us, please please please do not feed my child ANYTHING without my consent. God made his system very very sensitive, and he's not just a normal kid that can have some crappy McDonald's or cake and ice cream or pizza at a party. At least for now, he's a kid with some pretty severe food intolerances/allergies, so we have to deal with it accordingly. We're praying he outgrows some of it as people often can. His pediatrician has kids with multiple food allergies, so she's seems to get it. It doesn't have to be a big deal, she said, we just have to prepare his food. If we are going to be outside of the house, we need to bring our own food from home, not try to find something at a restaurant that likely has allergens in it. It's hard. Could it be much much worse? Of course. Always. Could it be better too? Well obviously. If we don't let others in on our struggles and real life stuff, then what's the point of community, really. We thank God for Asher every day (not every moment, because let's be honest, having a kid, especially a toddler, is HARD). I'm eternally thankful for even having the joy of ever knowing my sweet boy and having him entrusted just to me (Ross and I) at all... for however long God allows. We adore him so much... but still, life can be hard! Life can be beautiful and brutal all at the same time, I think.

A perk of living a block from my nieces: I got to attend their gymnastics "show off day"! They got medals at the end :) They are the cuties in the purple floral.