For those of you that don't know, WE ARE MOVING! YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! If you are reading this, you know that we have been desperate to get the heck out of Wheaton for years (4, to be exact). We recently had renters fall in our laps, and they are set to move in 7/14!!! Thank the Lord for that provision. Where are we going you ask?? Some of you already know this....
Our plan a few years back was to sell this stupid condo and buy a house in Aurora. This was our hope and dream for years. It never came close to happening. The market is crap, and even worse for condos/townhouses. Selling isn't going to be an option for years to come, unless any of you want to offer us more than 40K to waste, to enable us to lower the selling price to be competitive. Actually closer to 50-60K would be needed to drop the price to the prices of the other condos selling in here. They have gone down that much in the last few years that we have been trying to sell, so obviously our condo came off the market long ago since we couldn't afford to follow the other prices down that far. It's disgusting, really. For a long time we didn't want to rent this place out because of the stress/headache/uncertainty that comes with it. Months ago, we decided we were at that point where that was our only option, and we decided to take it. It was that, or be stuck in this condo indefinitely, probably close to another 10 years or so until the condo market evens out to being back above water. We are NOT staying here that long, NO MATTER WHAT. I've hated this condo ever since we got married and I had to live here, and with a child, it's intolerable. Yes, lots of people have kids in small spaces, but most people don't have babies anything like Asher.
The more and more we went through with Asher this year, the more challenges we encountered and the more we struggled with him, the more we felt totally alone. Wheaton is not where either of us are from, nor is it where either of us want to settle. Thanks to my sister and her fam relocating to Indy for Erik to be a firefighter, we have NO family to speak of anywhere near (the closest is over 2 hours away). Being first-time parents with a ridiculously challenging child, in a place that you don't have lots of ties is insanely hard and actually pretty miserable. This season of life with Asher has proven to us how few true friends we have, and how deep and genuine the friendships actually are that we DO have. Going through what we have with him with no family around has been excruciating... we have many well-intentioned grandparents who make efforts to come as much as they can, but having an out of town guest for a few hours every several weeks isn't exactly a strong local support system. We have a few great friends here (not many "true" friends in this area), but all of the true friends that we had in Wheaton moved away (town/state/country!), so the closest friends that we have around (and there aren't many!) live over 30 minutes away in Aurora. Our church, that we can never go to anymore because of Asher's struggles and his schedule, is over 30 minutes away in Aurora too. We have felt very isolated and fairly unsupported since he was born (this is NOT a reflection of our family or close friends who have been AMAZING to us during this difficult time), and this is not a feeling we want to continue if we don't have to. We want Asher to be able to grow up very close to family and friends, not a 20-30 min (or 2 hour) drive away, but CLOSE. down the street. IN COMMUNITY with others.
We then started to seriously consider relocating to good ol' Indiana (I truly NEVER thought I would be saying this!) to be close to my sister and her family. In my life, I have always lived near my sister until now. We lived together obviously as children (at which time we were tightly bonded due to some experiences we encountered), and when I went off to college, she and I shared an apartment for years. We then managed to remain in neighboring suburbs for years, and then lived about 10 minutes away from each other in Wheaton for years. We have always been each others biggest support system. Then they changed the game by moving to Indy... thanks a lot, Sister! ;) Erik, my brother-in-law desperately wanted to pursue being a firefighter, so he pursued it long and hard.... his dedication paid off, and he landed his top choice for a job, in Carmel, IN. For those that don't know, Carmel is pretty fancy... it's a northern burb of Indy and is very similar to the Naperville/Wheaton/Glen Ellyn areas (affluent, pretty, convenient, and fairly heavily Christian). It's very nice there, it reminds me of being around here! My sister and her family decided to build a house in a neighboring town of Carmel, in Westfield (still very nice, but a little more rural and a bit less "fancy pants", as she would say, than Carmel). It's really nice there. After literal years of my sister and Erik pestering and joking with us to become "Hoosiers", we finally, finally decided to entertain the idea. We thought, this is SUCH a long shot, it will NEVER EVER EVER work out. EVER. So, why not try, watch it fail, and then, at least we can say we gave it the effort. I began to think even though we had desperately wanted to relocate to Aurora for so long, for some reason, God would not allow it. WHY GOD?!? Then I didn't know, and it made me very angry. I thought that was what God wanted for us, and I was sure if He did, it would happen. Despite our efforts, it never did.... and finally when we got renters for the condo, when we would have the opportunity to leave and go anywhere, Aurora wasn't at the top of our list any more. It was still an option along with Indy, but not our top option for some reason. Not sure what that's about other than God changing our hearts and minds. We decided that we would pursue a possible move to Indy, knowing full well that it would HAVE to be an act of God orchestrating it for it to ever ever work... there were too many variables, it was too far, too complex, too much of a long shot. We pursued it, hoping for the best, but expecting it not to pan out at all.
Ross applied for jobs, we looked in to building a new home very close to my sister, etc. In order for it to all work out perfectly, it would require our refinance for the condo going through so we could afford to rent it (it did), finding renters (which we did effortlessly, through FB actually, and they are amazing people we already know!), finding jobs for Ross to apply for (check), having Ross get interviews on the exact weekend that we would be in Indy for my niece's b-day (check), being able to meet with a builder and afford a home there (yes), find a nice, close, place to rent to us short-term while our house is built (this seems to be unheard of, but we found an amazing place SUPER close!), having Ross get job offers that are substantial enough for us to relocate and for me not to work, since, from our experience, that is what Asher needs (CHECK!), having it ALLLLLLL line up in perfect order, in perfect timing, CHECK! OK, God, we get it. I prayed for a VERY clear sign of which direction to go. I prayed for God to slam the door to Indy if we weren't supposed to go there. He didn't. He did the exact opposite. It would be foolish, for many reasons, not to follow.
Are we freaked out?? YES. Are we sad and grieving the loss of our lives/relationships around here? YES. Are we excited to be near my sister's family/ have a huge and amazing and affordable house/ have Ross have an incredible job opportunity at a place he LOVES/ have me not have to work for now so I can stay with Asher/ start fresh and put down roots finally, YES. Here, I had to work part-time for $ for us to live (Chicagoland living is ridiculously expensive). Due to that, Ross had to "work from home" (yeah right) when caring for Asher while I was away working, which translated to him working late (until midnight at least) almost every single night during the week, and on weekends, and having me working late after Asher was asleep too. This SUCKED for many reasons, and we are SO SO excited to NOT have to do that anymore (I loved my job and my clients and my boss, but in the end, it was not the best thing for our family). I already have found an incredible non-profit agency in the city (the "big" city of Indy, hahaha!) that does refugee resettlement and they also have a human trafficking program. HELLO! THIS is why I went to grad school... for this EXACT type of social work (human trafficking), and there actually aren't too many programs of this nature in the country.... funny, how there is one where we are moving to! Also, we will have SO much more space for my curious, persistent, and energetic little boy, which we SO need. We will have our closest family support a block away. We will be able to walk to my sister's house in about 5 minutes, no joke. Asher will grow up a block from his 1st cousins. Ross was offered 2 jobs, 1 of which is kind of his dream job at a fantastically impressive global agency where he will get to do really interesting work. They are going to pay him MORE than he makes here, which we were hoping for, but totally weren't expecting since the cost of living is SO much cheaper in IN. Their benefits are fantastic, and the insurance is 1/2 the price for twice the coverage compared to what we have now. It's a really amazing opportunity for us, and although it's terrifying for many reasons, it's also exciting. We know in our hearts that although we grieve the relationships we have here, the true ones will come with us and will last our entire lifetime, no matter where we end up.
