Recovery

Lots of you are asking how I'm doing (which I appreciate), so I thought this was the easiest way...  A week ago, I was sliced open and had my gallbladder removed. The good times just don't stop around here!  I was in prep and recovery longer than in surgery.  My mom took me for the surgery and stayed to drive me home so Ross could stay home and watch Asher.  I think the surgery was an hour or less.  I wasn't a fan of having to get an IV again, but, what are you gonna do.  I didn't realize they would intubate me during the surgery, so I woke up with a crazy sore throat and a huge urge to cough... it was a reflex, but after I coughed, I realized, OH, I JUST HAD ABDOMINAL SURGERY!  OUCH.  Anyway, it was painful, but totally tolerable.  I got out of bed on my own and into a chair like an hour after surgery, and was on my way home with my mom about 2 hours post-op.  The nurses kept commenting on how well I was getting around and that I must have a very high pain tolerance... I really don't, which my mom was sure to tell the nurse  ;)  but I think having a c-section 2 months prior really put it all in perspective.  YES, the surgery was painful, but compared to a c-section and getting out of bed and showering hours after that, this was no biggie.

The day after surgery was actually the most painful... I was thankful that day to have the narcotics  :)  Every day since then has shown improvement.  Again, yes, it was painful and hard, I mean, it should be, they took an organ out of me... and I was very sore for a while, but it was easier than the c-section, so I can't really complain.  Ross took complete care of Asher and my mom was here to help with the baby and house stuff for a few days.  I would not have been able to do it without them!  Right after the surgery and in the days to follow, I was getting around much better than I was after the c-section, but I guess that has something to do with where and how the surgeries were done.  Laparoscopic procedures are amazing, and I still can't quite wrap my brain around the fact that they did everything through four 1" holes in my body, including pulling a snipped organ OUT of my body.  crazy.  There is obviously a reason why c-sections have to be so invasive and have to be "open" procedures... An almost 10lb baby won't slip through a 1" hole sliced in your abdomen  :)  The incisions are healing nicely and aside from getting up/down too fast or twisting/turning/bending in a position that I shouldn't, I'm getting along just fine with very manageable pain.  The challenge is having 4 holes that are stitched shut and held together with tape while trying to care for a heavy and very active baby.  There is 1 incision in/above my bellybutton, 1 right below my sternum/ribcage, and 2 on the right side of my ribcage... the location of these makes it painful and difficult to hold, carry, feed, and nap Asher.  Ross has been doing most of it because he's been off work to help me, and when I do it, I can't do it for too long and have to be super conscious of how I'm holding/moving Asher, because it's uncomfortable to have tons of pressure and thrashing on healing incisions.  We will get through it and be just fine.

Mr. Asher is doing alright... he seemed to have a setback when I had the surgery (perfect timing, right?!).  We can't be sure, but it may have had something to do with the fact that for days Ross was the only one feeding/napping him, which Asher wasn't used to, so he was especially fussy and would refuse feedings with more agitation and force.  This didn't exactly help the stressful situation we were already in!  He has gotten a bit better in the last few days... at this point, we are pretty sure that it's mostly behavioral.  The new lactose free organic formula has done wonders for him, but it hasn't "cured" him, as there is a terrible feeding aversion that has come along with the reflux.  The reflux has significantly diminished with this new formula which is fantastic.  He is eating better and eating more, but the aversion is still there most of the time.  Some days/hours are better than others... If he is tired enough or starving enough, he will take a bottle here and there with little fighting, but most of the time, it's a HUGE battle.  For those of you who think we are over-reacting, let me assure you, we are NOT.  The sound bites that I have sent via text are a tiny glimpse of what Asher does when he eats, almost EVERY time.  He has an aversion to eating caused from the pain he previously experienced from the reflux... we think that he is experiencing much less pain these days thanks to the new formula, but it can take little ones several months to realize that it's not going to hurt to eat, and that they don't have to fight or be afraid anymore.

Here's how it goes.  more than 90% of the time, feeding him is a huge battle.  Ross and I are pros at it, and have learned how to manipulate things to get the best outcome.  First, we swaddle him tightly so he can't thrash as much, and so he stays a bit calmer.  He HATES this, but it's the ONLY way, and it works.  Next, we have to rock him... he may drink some before becoming agitated, or he may scream his head off right out of the gate.  We then have to use white noise, and specifically only one track works for him... it's a recording of a VERY loud hair dryer.  It's extremely abrasive, and it works like magic 99% o the time.  We have to turn it up VERY VERY loud, and it's like a switch... he stops fighting and gets silent, mid-scream.  Some professionals say it's because babies have a calming "reflex"... that it has to be tripped like a switch (by swaddling, rocking, letting them suck on a pacifier, or by "shushing" them with loud white noise).  Some professionals think it's crap and say that babies quiet because they are shutting down because they can't take the stimulation.  Whatever it is, it's the only thing that settles him down enough to eat.  THEN, we can finally feed him, and once he has eaten, he typically goes to sleep with assistance from us.  It's a huge process and ordeal, and this is what we have to do for EVERY SINGLE FEEDING, which is about 8-10 times a day.  This is why Asher isn't portable like other babies.  This is why it's hard to host anyone or have company.  This is why we are just getting by hour to hour, and this is why it's all-consuming to care for him.

Aside from the eating aversion which is terribly stressful and frustrating, he's doing pretty well.  He's starting to organize his night sleeping and has consistently slept for 3 longer stretches at night most nights for the last few weeks.  Even when he fights, through our magic and trickery, we can get him to eat most or all of his bottle every time (due to the new formula tasting better and being MUCH better on his system), so that's good.  When he's awake, most of the time, he's pretty content, even smiling, cooing, and playing like "normal" babies.  He smiles socially, is super interested in your talking or singing to him, and loves certain toys.  He likes anything that lights up or anything that is musical, things that move, etc.  He grabs for and holds on to toys now, and he absolutely loves his activity gym.  He is starting to try to put things in his mouth, and has successfully gotten both hands in his mouth on several occasions.  He recently discovered that he has feet, so that's been fun to see  :)  The other day he was wearing a sleeper (footed pajamas) with animal faces on his feet.  It was hilarious... he was being held, and he would pull his feet up and hold them out as long as he could so he could look at them  :)  I think he might start teething soon, recently he's been drooling like CRAZY, gnawing on his hands (not just sucking), and wanting various things in his mouth.  I know it's early, but by being a social worker who does assessments on the development of newborns, I also know it's possible to start teething as early as 3-4 months.  We shall see!

Here are some recent pics... we took a bunch in his owl shirt, this is the first article of clothing purchased for him ever... I got it immediately after we found out we were having a boy, before anyone else knew  ;)  It's a long-sleeved owl onesie (shocker) that has psalm 51:6 on it (you teach me wisdom, oh Lord).  Pretty fitting verse for our situation!  There are some of him playing in his "activity gym" which he loves, and one of him in his super sweet mamaroo swing that my Mom got him... he has not been a fan of it up until now, I think mostly because he has pretty much hated life, but just in the last few days, he has tolerated being in, and even seemed to enjoy it!  Praying that continues, as it would be a welcome break to be able to put him down without him screaming for a few minutes  :)