8 months!!!

Asher is 8 months old... how crazy is that?!  Where to begin.  OK, so last time we were at the pediatrician (a few weeks back), Asher was over 19 pounds, and over 27 inches!  He's growing like CRAZY!!!  :)  We went to the pediatrician, not for a normal "well" visit/physical, but because Asher had been aspirating/choking daily.  It was frightening and due to reflux, but the ped thinks he's fine and it's nothing to worry about.  He has no problem swallowing since he can drink his bottle and eat his solids fine, it's the reflux coming back up that was causing him to aspirate and choke (not just cough or gag).  After having him truly choke and having to do the Heimlich, every time he starts, I freak out.  Our ped. Dr. C, said perhaps it was just a physiological response, his body not breathing and closing off his airway since the reflux was coming up, to actually stop him from aspirating/choking... he said when you vomit, your body protects itself (typically) from aspirating into your airway by not allowing you to breath, and he thought that was what we were seeing, not true aspiration/choking.  It made COMPLETE sense once he said it.  I also told him that he had been starting to reflux less, fewer times a day, and when he would, it hadn't been the entire bottle projectiled out, but more like coming 1/2 way up then back down, then back up and out, but not all over (which also would explain him not breathing to keep from aspirating it, as before it would all spew out and he would be on his merry way).  Anyway, he's doing that less and less now, which is fantastic.

So - I may have completely cracked the code on his reflux!  All I can keep thinking is, "mother knows best".  I've heard over and over again to "trust your mommy instinct", and although I HATE the term "mommy instinct", it seems to be a very real thing... I've followed it, and it's never failed.  It told me that the formula was the problem in the beginning, and NOT to be OK with just letting him grow out of it as Tomato had suggested in her patronizing manner.  Stupid Tomato.  I've been on a quest to be an expert (which I seem to have become, at least for Asher) about reflux, formula, colic, etc.  I knew long ago that the formula was bothering him, which is when I switched him to the organic lactose free formula (with brown rice syrup base instead of corn syrup).  I was certain it was the dairy/lactose AND the corn that was bothering him, and the lactose free organic stuff made a huge huge difference then.  It didn't "cure" the reflux, but made it more tolerable, and more importantly, he loved the tasted and finally slowly started actually wanting to eat it.  Well, since the reflux has been in full swing in what I think was it's peak, I was crazy to make it better for him.  The more and more research I did, the more certain I was it was still something in for formula that was bothering him.  At first I thought it was the solids, which did in fact make it worse, but then it became difficult to pinpoint which solids were doing what, since he was just puking all the time no matter what he ate (or didn't eat).   

I found this while doing research in mid-late April:

Symptoms of milk intolerance in babies may include one or more of the following:

Aggravation of reflux

Wind

Reflux

Vomiting

Colic

Discomfort

Irritability

Obstructive nasal symptoms / blocked nose

Loose stools, mucus in stools

Constipation

Disturbance of sleep due to discomfort

Distress

Rashes, recurrent hives

Leg cramps

Apparent difficulty with passing bowel motions

Reflux and Milk Protein Intolerance
We've known for some time that a baby with reflux is likely to be milk protein intolerant as well. What we've learned since then is that in some infants the reflux is a symptom of the milk protein intolerance, that the intolerance is causing the reflux and that once the milk protein intolerance is treated the reflux improves.

This has important ramifications in the treatment of reflux, as the only sign exhibited by some infants that they have milk protein intolerance caused reflux, is that they have reflux.  So we are now seeing specialists in the field treating diagnosed reflux with dietary changes as a first step in the treatment of reflux. 

Besides the leg cramps (how would you know this?), Asher has had, consistently, EVER SINGLE ONE of the symptoms, some, pretty severely.  I have known for a long long time that it could be due to the dairy, and if you remember from wayyyyyyyyyyyyy back when, we had his blood tested for a milk/soy protein allergy.  The allergy test was negative, so we then thought that wasn't the problem.  3 other times over the months I've had a gnawing feeling it was the dairy, so I convinced Ross to try soy formulas (the crappy commercial ones), but it constipated him within a day so we always stopped right away.  Once I found the above info, again, I thought, we have to try this again, just to see.  I found through research that most kids that have issues with dairy or soy test negative for allergy, and never test positive for the full-blown allergy (which is really very severe in it's true form and can be fatal if not picked up on).  Less than 5% of kids actually test positive for the allergy, but far more are very bothered by a dairy intolerance or sensitivity.  I still wasn't sure that he didn't have a problem with dairy (not the formula, the formula is great, but the actual milk itself (the protein and/or lactose) is what lots of kids have issues with).  I didn't want to switch formulas since it took us so long to find what helped him a little.  I toiled and toiled and didn't know what else it could be since SO many of his symptoms matched a dairy intolerance (kids that test negative for an allergy can still get sick - reflux is a main symptom- from intolerance.)  There is no test for intolerance other than to take milk out of the diet for 2-3 weeks to see if symptoms go away.  We (really I, Ross was very skeptical) decided to start Asher on the soy formula by the same brand/company of formula we were using (Natures One, Baby's Only organic)... all the ingredients in the formula are identical besides the protein source (cow's milk, minus lactose vs soy).  I figured with it getting worse, and him being so fussy from the discomfort of it, it couldn't hurt to try.  We tried him on it for a week.... very little difference and very minimal improvement, so we decided it wasn't working enough to make the switch and that we would keep up with the lactose free version (same brand).  Then, he got even worse!  I decided for all of us that we were going to try the soy version yet again, and give it a solid 2 weeks (it can take up to a month to get dairy out of your system!).  After a week, there was a little improvement.  After 2 weeks, noticeable improvement.  A little longer, and HE IS BARELY PUKING AT ALL!!!  Seriously.  He went from refluxing up to 15-20 times a day, down to 5-10, down to 5 times, down to a few times, if any... and nothing for the last few days.  If he does reflux, it's very minor in comparison of quantity and frequency.  PRAISE JESUS!  This is it.  This was the main issue ALL along, even though stupid Tomato told us not to even try soy, to jump right to the hypoallergenic, crazy expensive, completely disgusting formula.  She said "most" kids with a dairy problem also have a problem with soy, and "after all, Asher tested negative for the allergy, so this shouldn't be the issue".  Turns out he doesn't have "just" colic.  Turns out he didn't grow out of it by 12 weeks.  Turns out a switch in formula brand (to the organic good stuff from the crappy chemical-laden commercial stuff) AND a switch to lactose free, then to soy, made a world of difference for him.  I want to go see her one more time, just to tell her how useless she was.  Actually, Tomato, from all the research I've done, it seems that only 25-30% of kids with dairy issues also have soy issues, meaning that a switch from dairy to soy would help 70-75% of them.  Dr. C suggested soy long ago, but warned us that it's constipating, so we tried and stopped right away way back then, because it was even worse than the rice starch in the reflux formula from so many months ago.  Turns out this particular soy formula we're using now, the organic brown rice syrup formula, actually made him less constipated than the lactose free dairy version of the same brand.... It also cleared up excema on  his face that would never go away no matter what.  Thank the Lord for giving me the gnawing feeling to keep going, keep going, keep going, to help my son.  So I did, and here we are.  I'm not crazy after all, I'm just a mama who will do ANYTHING to advocate for her son.  Told you so... Told you so, world.  Unfortunately, I think he's finally finally finally getting a tooth, which makes his eating aversion regress (especially with Ross), along with a wicked sleep regression.  Teething also makes reflux flare, and certain new solids make reflux flare as well, still.  You can't win 'em all, I guess. 

My plea to you:  READ THIS BOOK:

"Raising Your Spirited Child" by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka, M.A

Asher still has a "spirited" temperament, and he always will.  That part is not from the colic (which is gone) or the reflux (which isn't gone, but controlled much more with the soy).  That is his temperament, the temperament he had before he left my body (literally).  He's a "spirited" boy, and he always will be.  We've learned what that means, and how to best parent and teach him... how not to stifle him, but to understand him and react accordingly.  Please, I beg of you, please please please please read this book.  If you plan to spend any time around Asher throughout childhood, please read this... even if  you don't, if you just have kids or will ever be around kids at all, ever, please read this book so you can better understand what a "spirited" child looks like, how to react to them, and how NOT to treat them.  Please.  It's pure genius, and it seems as though it was written just for Asher.  All kids are NOT the same.  All kids cannot be parented the same.  You can't reshape the personalities of little ones by environment and parenting, their personalities are their personalities.  Temperaments are there to stay.  Please read it, it has changed the way we view Asher and parent him!  He's not just "strong-willed" nor can we alter his sensitivities to his environment by desensitization.  God made him the way he is for a reason, and we have embraced it... and it's insulting for others to insinuate "if you just ___________" or "why don't you just ____________" with him, to alter who he is, to make it easier to parent him.

http://www.amazon.com/Raising-Your-Spirited-Child-Perceptive/dp/0060923288

Finally, another big thing, we have renters for our condo!  Thank you Lord!  They fell into our laps from above, I'm certain.  For 4 agonizing and sometimes miserable years, we've been longing to move... then desperate to move.  Most of you know we tried to sell the condo, but the market is just crap, especially for condos, so unless we have 40K in our pockets to fork over and lose (condos here are currently selling for MORE than 40K less than what Ross bought it at), we can't sell anytime soon.  We never wanted to rent, we thought it was too risky, but after years of being unhappy here, and after this last year of total hell with Asher, we HAVE to move.  I told Ross months ago that I was moving in the Summer, no matter what... we had to find a way.  Being in a tiny condo with a colicky, fussy, miserable baby was hell on earth.  Nowhere to take him when he cried, very limited options for trying to soothe him, no real privacy, neighbors constantly waking him up (parking lot, hallway, slamming doors), etc.  The worst of it is, now that he's mobile, he HATES being in here.  I take him out on long walks daily, and sometimes a short errand here and there (though he hates the car), but he gets SO SO frustrated having such limited space to play and explore, and everywhere he turns there is something dangerous waiting for him (having limited space doesn't allow for wide open areas for roaming, nor can we put everything out of his reach).  For Asher's sake, we needed to move.  In Wheaton (which we don't really like and never have), we could never ever ever afford a house.  Ever.  It's crazy expensive here, so this tiny condo is it.  We had an appointment to have a realtor come over and take photos and list our place to rent, and that same week, someone from our old church posted on facebook that she and her husband were moving to Wheaton.  I commented, "yay!  You don't need a condo to rent, do you??!", she said, YES, actually we would be interested in that.  SERIOUSLY?!  And that's it.  They came over and she loved it they are going to rent here.  We are working on the lease so it's not officially official yet, but I take their word as being pretty permanent.  They are a super sweet younger couple from our old church who we used to serve together in the high school ministry as leaders.  We know them well enough to really trust them, but not well enough for it to be uncomfortable. Thank you Jesus!  Within 2 weeks from this, two other couples approached us completely out of the blue asking if they could rent our condo (not knowing that we were in fact wanting to even rent it out!).  OK.  OK, God, we got it.  Loud and clear (thanks for the certainty).  WE ARE MOVING!  Where are we going, you ask?  No idea just yet, but exciting things are happening, so stay tuned  ;)